it’s good to know the chef

“Will you be there tonight?”


“Will you have a fat one for me?”

“Yea, I’ve got your fat one, right heeeere.”

“See you  tonight then.”

After work I scurried over to Lafayette to Chef’s restaurant, Yankee Pier, with visions of east coast marine crustaceans dancing through my head.   The anticipation of the temptations that Chef would soon put before me, made me giddy. The consumption of the bounty, will no doubt, fulfill my every desire.

A few minutes after ordering my requisite glass of wine and 1-1/2 lb. lobster, I was presented with a gift – a “compliments of the chef” platter of three oysters.

“These are Saint Simon oysters, which are from the same region as the Beau Soleils in New Brunswick.”

I looked over at Chef, who was still working the pass in the kitchen,  he shot me a knowing wink – knowing that Beau Soleils are my favorite oysters.  I had never heard of Saint Simons before, but I know Chef would not serve me anything I would not like or that is under par.  The shell and meat size were comparable to the smallish Beau Soleils, but the shells seemed thicker.  I took one in hand, dipped it ever so slightly in the balsamic vinegar and slurped.  The texture was a bit firmer than anticipated, the taste slightly of the ocean, and ended with a buttery finish.   The second and third oysters, I cradled  longer in my mouth before biting down, wanting to grasp every flavor, taste every nuance of this living creature.  Yes, living.  And so there began my love affair with the Saint Simons.


Next up, the god of the seas (or at least of MY seas), the Maine Lobster.  As I lifted each half of the split body, I noticed how the tail looked like a deck of cards unfolding.  A lovely deck of cards before me.  Cutting the meat into bite size pieces, I began to salivate.  My loins were wanting.  I dipped a piece into the clarified butter and brought it to my mouth.  I chewed and tried to register what I was feeling, what my body was doing.  I was feeling euphoric.  My eyebrows raised, my mouth curved into a smile, my shoulders shrugged up, my heart raced, my lungs filled with air, my feet involuntarily left the ground.  I felt as if  my whole being was being elevated towards the heavens.

Sealing the deal was a side of grilled brussel sprouts (my newly found favorite vegetable) with bits of bacon (and we all know that bacon makes everything better).

That meal, not unlike sex, was truly and in-body and out-of-body experience.  Chefs have been known to pick cooking as a profession because they love to pleasure people – to make them happy.  Oh, baby…food as a metphor for sex…how fun is that?

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